Estimated reading time: five minutes.

Tomorrow, NCEA results will be released for around 150,000 students around the country. In fact, by the time you read this blog post, results may have already been released. Like any results-based system in life, there will be winners and losers; successes and disappointments; fist-pumps and tears.

In life it’s important to deal with whatever comes your way in the best way possible, whether it is success or perhaps not as good as you had hoped. Just like famous sportspeople bounce back from defeat, or move forward from a big win with a level-head, knowing they still need to train hard and improve for the next challenge. With that in mind, here are five tips for helping your child deal with NCEA exam results in the best way possible.

1. Realise exams are not the be all and end all of life – even if their results were good

It’s important to work hard for exams, but at the end of the day an exam is not always an accurate measurement of understanding or intelligence. It’s the equivalent of assessing your rugby ability by testing you on your goal kicking skills, when you play as a forward. There are so many other factors that come into play, such as the questions you get in the exam, how quickly you work, anxiety, the outside environment, and often luck. All students have experienced the euphoria of recognizing practice test questions on an exam paper, and all students have experienced the horror of seeing nothing familiar at all. Exams are a fact of life, but don’t let your child fall into the trap of letting exams define their intelligence or worth as a human being. Even if their exam results were excellent, you should not read too much into just a grade. The same goes for the way you perceive exams. Although it may be tempting to draw conclusions about your child’s efforts and potential, remember that there are other factors at play. Make sure that they know that you still believe in, and support them.

2. Praise effort, not ability

There is a wealth of modern research around the notion that praising effort rather than outcomes or ability develops the best mindset in students in the long run. One of the main researchers in this area, Carol Dweck of Stanford University, has spent over twenty years in the classroom, and has concluded that the main determinator of long-term success is one’s mindset towards failure and a focus on process rather than outcome. Now, that is not to say we blindly say “good effort” whenever your child does something, or if your child fails. As Dweck said herself, “They also need to acknowledge when students are not learning effectively, and then work with them to find new learning strategies”. Sit down with your children and praise their effort but at the same time chat to them about how they can improve for this year’s results, and what new strategies they could try. Getting an educational coach/tutor can really help with this process, as a neutral third party.

3. Learn from mistakes and don’t be afraid of doing so!

The biggest lie teenagers are told is that failing is bad. Modern psychological research shows that the most effective way to learn is by making mistakes and correcting yourself. Research is also now showing that the brain is an incredible organ, capable of changing and becoming more intelligent. This only happens by learning from mistakes, not being afraid of failure and putting in effort. Encourage your child to use their mistakes to form the steps to climb higher than before. One student we know went from Achieveds and Merits in Level One, to Merits and Excellences in Level Two to Excellences and DUX in Level Three. We have worked with lots of students who have had similar shifts in grades to this. It is possible.

4. Make sure that in 2016, they are studying for the right reasons

Incentives and rewards are great in theory, but it’s probably not going to help your child in the long run. Research has shown that intrinsic (internal) motivation is much more effective than external motivation from other people. The best thing you can do for your child is to start a casual conversation about why they want to do well in 2016, keeping the focus on what they bring up. They might need a particular score to get into the course of their dreams, or want to prove to themselves that they can get a Merit Endorsement. By getting them to vocalise their goals, you are helping to pull the focus away from their failure, and instead reflect on their reasons to persevere.

5. Encourage your child to go through their papers

In previous years we have had students that was marked up from a Not- Achieved to a Merit after reconsideration. NCEA markers only have 1-2 minutes to mark each paper, and human mistakes can be made. It’s worth your child checking them out and showing any sections in question to their teachers. Not only does this create the potential of improvement, it also allows them to see where they went wrong and again, learn from their mistakes.

Conclusion

This week, sit down with your child/children and discuss with them some of the tips in this article, which include:

– Realise exams are not the be all and end all of life – even if their results were good

– Praise effort, not ability

– Learn from mistakes and don’t be afraid of doing so!

– Make sure that in 2016, they are studying for the right reasons

– Encourage your child to go through their papers

Exams can be frightening, and when students do badly it can scare them into a negative cycle of being afraid of trying and then failing anyway. If you can show them support and integrate the above tips into the next few weeks, you can help them bounce back better than ever before.